Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
