but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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