Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
