just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
