He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
