i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
