I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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