38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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