i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
