Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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