The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
