she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
