so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
