I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize