I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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