I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
