the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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