so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
