I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
