i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
