uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
