I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sext me about skeletons
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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