Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
