Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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