ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
