I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
