when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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