i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
how drunk are you?
Several
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
