I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
