Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
