I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
