I got chris browned last night
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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