no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
