I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
