i don't like sucking hair
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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