he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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