Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
