I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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