I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
