apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
