Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
