so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
