To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
