Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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