My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
