it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
