he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
