OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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