Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You left your phone here
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