my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The beer is more important than you right now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
