At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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