dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
that is very illegal...i love you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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