so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
third nipple confirmed
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
