At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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