nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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