Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
