Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize