plz talk dirty to me
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
